The first big purchase I ever made after I started working as a performer was I bought a car that was my pride and joy. It was a red Mazda MX-5 Convertible. I loved that car. And I was the cliche blonde in a red sports car for a while. But I sold her because I spend too much time away from home now. It was sad. She was just sitting in the road not being used.
Dear Diary, mark it down. October 13th, 1986 is officially the worst day of my life. Everything sucks. Everything is wicked bad and it sucks. School is a nightmare. Today, I got my period on the balance beam and nobody told me and everybody saw. Now, everyone’s calling me ‘Lamey Poehler’. And then my mom found my beer in the laundry hamper and she had a wicked hissy fit so now she’s not letting me go to see Bon Jovi with opening act cinderella! Now my dream of Jon Bon Jovi seeing me in the crowd and taking me away from this miserable life is ruined! I hate my life! I gotta get my hair higher!
A tip from your favorite nurse
(that’d be me)
Always have eggs in your fridge
You just never know when someone will split their head open
Or cut their finger while cooking
And so on
See that membrane there?
While the blood is gushing - hold pressure and crack open an egg
Peel that there membrane off and put it on the wound (continue holding pressure)
The membrane will harden and keep the wound closed until you can get to the ER for stitches
If you even need them that is
Nature: 1, Band aids: 0
I did some research on this (because I do that now, fucking science get out) and it seems that this was done in the early 1900s somewhat frequently. It was used as a way to treat just about any kind of skin wound, from burn to cut to in at least one case an ulcer. It actually helps the wound heal not by preventing blood loss but by replacing part of the skin tissue and helping it grow.
It also helps in healing scars and reducing their visibility.
Also, if you have a splinter, smack one of these things on there and it will draw it out of your skin. No more shitting around with pliers.
it will also suck the poison stuff out of mosquito bites and stop them from being itchy
woaaah i didnt know!! awesome stuff :D
Did not know the mosquito bite or splinter thing! EGGS—IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN’T DO?
They cant fix the economy
I was going to reblog this because of all the cool egg facts and than that last comment happened
If you do not think this is one of the best scenes in cinematic history, you are wrong.
she got the oscar for this performance.
I wish she would have waited until she finished the pie. But i loved this part.
This is a piece of shitty mid-2000s humour that I hope never disappears from the internet